PRESS! The Marginalization of Imperial Journalism :(

We would like to preface this article by saying we absolutely respect the journalistic efforts of our peers at CU Boulder. We absolutely appreciate the work of basically all Radio1190 and CU Independent (CUI) reporters who cover important topics on our campus.

It was out of this fervent respect, appreciation—and yes, even love— for our colleagues that we noticed the bright hi-vis “PRESS” vests that their reporters seem to wear all the time. Now that we think about it, we haven’t ever actually seen them without these vests, which is quite worrying. Do they ever take them off? 

For those not familiar, hi-vis vests are worn by members of the press in situations where their lives and safety are at risk, such as being remotely near the metropolitan territories of the State of Israel or in Israel’s overseas possessions such as CU Boulder Career Fairs. Just at the recent Friday-afternoon protest a few weeks back, CUI’s hi-vis vests stuck out considerably next to the comparably covert attire of Radio 1190 reporters.

Now, we know that the CU campus is hostile towards reporters who don’t properly kowtow nine times to the God Emperor Schwartz and his sublime University of Colorado, but this all seems a bit much. Thus far, CU has engaged in targeting of student journalists even (and especially) with knowledge that their targets were engaging in journalism. So why would CUI reveal themselves so brazenly to potential retaliation from the university? We suspect it’s because they believe there is an additional threat: the much more elevated danger of foreign terrorist organizations. 

Our investigative reporters did some digging and found that the so-called “Axis of Resistance” has targets on the backs of every, single CUI reporter. The “Axis of Resistance” consists of multiple groups operating out of West Asia, including the Lebanese political party Hezbollah, the Iranian-backed Islamic Resistance in Iraq (IRI), the Popular Mobilization Forces (PMF), Yemeni Houthis, and SJP-backed Hamas. Why these groups are targeting CUI is beyond our knowledge at the time of reporting, but some suspect it has to do with CUI-backed insurgents kidnapping Venezuelan president Nicolas Maduro, who has voiced support for the Axis in the past. With this important knowledge, we see why these reporters fear incoming drone strikes or missiles. 

It is also known that CUI doesn’t like blurring the faces of protestors for “journalistic integrity,” but when students around the country are being detained and deported because of reporters refusing to have safer reporting practices, it seems an act of aggression that makes us at the Jump CU wonder if the targets on their backs from the Axis are valid. 

*We would of course never advocate terrorist violence against journalists unless those journalists are designated as terrorists by the proper terrorism authorities (U.S. State Department, U.S. National Security Agency, and CU Student Conduct and Conflict Resolution to name a few)… in which case give ’em hell!*