CU Facilities Management Endorses Hitler, Himmler, and Goering for CUSG Tri-Executive

In a recent spat over the Ekeley Kiosque on central campus, indigenous sovereignty activists and Nazis tested the limits of CU Boulder’s apoliticism.

According to our on-campus agitative propaganda correspondants, events occured somewhat as follows: Patriot Front members—maybe embedded in CU’s Turning Point USA chapter if the scandal with Nathaniel Ellis, TPUSA secretary and victim of an unfortunate family history of inbreeding, is anything to go off of— wheatpasted white supremacist slogans onto the free speech kiosque. This has happened several times over the past few years, Patriot Front plastering one poster at a time on the battered information board. The only opposition has come from antifa vigilantes with silver sharpies, tough fingernails, and a mild sense of justice. In response to the most recent posting by Patriot Front, activists wheat-pasting the kiosque in posters depicting indigenous people resisting white settlers across Turtle Island, including heavily armed Ejército Zapatista de Liberación Nacional fighters and Native Americans scalping Anglo settlers. The flyers read “Settlers Not Welcome” in a clear countermessage to the white supremacist rhetoric.

CU had not addressed or removed the several wheat-pastings by Patriot Front, and questions could have been asked as to whether or not they were even able to remove wheat-pasted materials. We say those questions could have been asked… as now they’ve been answered. CU responded to this pro-indigenous message with power-washers, completely wiping all the posters and the Patriot Front wheat-pastings underneath them, from the kiosque.

They had finally taken a stand regarding which free speech was more free to be freely expressed in one of its designated free speech zones. Here at the Jump, we believe all calls for genocide are created equal—just as the “Founding Fathers” would have intended—so when protesters posted flyers expressly calling for the removal of people from land to somewhere else, that represents an objectively condemnable act…

Resistance and “pioneering the empty frontier” are both equal endeavors in the progress of history; both are existential battles featuring noble protagonists such as Crazy Horse or James Kirker (please google this motherfucker). We look forward to seeing continued dialogue between these two forces on campus and will continue to bring the most up to date information to our readers… eventually.